We suppose an apology is in order for what we are about to say. Why? Well, because despite the fact we have gleefully skewered bad advertising since 2001, we also realize that there are actual, caring human being involved in the creation of good and bad advertising.

So let’s be clear, this — as it always has been — is critique of the work, not the people behind it. OK?

So we received a spot for Yamaha touting the brand’s new R1 motorcycle. The spot, created by Milan-based DLV BBDO and production studio abstr^ct:groove, is called We R1. And, yea, that’s where they supreme banality of this spot begins.

For the next 1:12, we are subjected to an endless litany of hackneyed platitudes so vapid and stereotypically tired that the words dull and commonplace are actually complimentary to the work.

Some gems?

“I turn her on, she turns me on.”

“I breath into my lungs. She exhales out of her lungs.” Wait, what, like she farted?

“My blood runs through my veins at the same rate as her fluids.”

“I rev her up. She revs up my heart.”

“My muscles share the work with her suspensions.” What, what?

“Her ride is lowered while the hair on my arms rises.”

“I am her. She is me. We are one.” Oh, no one’s ever said that line before.

Cue silly stock music beat.

And…”Yamaha R1. We are one”

We get the concept. There’s no problem there. But it’s like the creators took that concept and forced it down the throat like a bowling ball through the urethra. It’s just super painful to watch.

– They’re kind of a snooze but if you want to watch all of the new Dollar Shave Club TV ads, they are here.

– Yet another weird (and very good) ALDI Australia ad created by BMF.

– Right in line with the odd approach Dollar Shave Club took with its collection of new ads, JWT New York is out with a very manscaping-centric commercial entitled Crib in My Pants. Seriously the weirdest shaving ad you will ever see. But, damn, that “first girlfriend” is of the charts cute!

– A dating club is wrong but a shaving club is awesome. Yea, it’s another shaving brand trying to do the Dollar Shave Club thing.

– If you’ve ever just wanted to stare at thong-clad ass for two and a half minutes, Miss Reef has you covered.

– After watching this JWT London and th2ng-created slice of craziness, you will never look at 25% the same way again.

– In what is, by far, the lamest, most boring entry into the Volvo cannon of feature-focused videos, the brand is out with Volvo Trucks vs Koenigsegg, in which a Volvo truck drives around a race track and two guys talk about the truck’s features. Yawn.

– For all you furries out there, this ad’s for you.

– If you could buy a deoderant that made you smell like a truck river, would you? 42% of these shoppers did just that.

– And then there’s this clearly ramp-assisted parking maneuver designed to illustrate the amazing parking abilities of the new Audi Q3.

– Grupo Gallegos decided to use people’s obsession with taking photos to help cure Alzheimer’s.

– Barton F, Graff 9000 has created a terrific promotional video for The Mentor Act, a bill that would create an official mentorship program designed to keep people out of prison.

– Here is an incredible bad — and we mean really, really bad — ad for san Diego-based Stellar Solar. The press release actually dared to call it innovative.

– OK, this is funny! From David & Goliath, this ad demonstrates just how amazing and attention grabbing the new Vizio Ultra HD TVs are. So amazing, viewers don’t even notice the real-life drama going on around them.

– We all have varying degrees of various phobias. But here are some new ones from Saatch & Saatchi Canada for the Toronot Film Festival you may not have heard of.

– If you are going to do stupid things, at least become an organ donor. Thanks for that, Duvall Guillaume!