While the lowly ad banner has been getting a bum rap for years, every once in a while, much in the way outdoor boards occasionally get creative, an ad agency spices up the boring online rectangle.

To tout the new Mercedes E-Class Estate station wagon, BBDO Belgium created what they call a “transportable” banner. When we first saw that in the press release, we thought, “Oh no! Not another Amazon-style, re-targeting banner that won’t stop showing you ads for something you just bought!”

But that’s not what the transportable banner is. In fact, it’s not really a smart banner at all. It’s just a really creative use of Flash or gif animation or whatever technology BBDO used to accomplish the “removal” of this banner which is then placed inside to illustrate the spacious interior of the vehicle.

Now, fitting a 728 X 90 pixels ad inside the back of a station wagon might not seem like a Herculean feat but that drawback in somewhat overcome by the fact that the banner which, once “removed,” appears much larger and is placed inside the vehicle by two people.

Anyway, watch the demo video and tell us what you think.

We suppose an apology is in order for what we are about to say. Why? Well, because despite the fact we have gleefully skewered bad advertising since 2001, we also realize that there are actual, caring human being involved in the creation of good and bad advertising.

So let’s be clear, this — as it always has been — is critique of the work, not the people behind it. OK?

So we received a spot for Yamaha touting the brand’s new R1 motorcycle. The spot, created by Milan-based DLV BBDO and production studio abstr^ct:groove, is called We R1. And, yea, that’s where they supreme banality of this spot begins.

For the next 1:12, we are subjected to an endless litany of hackneyed platitudes so vapid and stereotypically tired that the words dull and commonplace are actually complimentary to the work.

Some gems?

“I turn her on, she turns me on.”

“I breath into my lungs. She exhales out of her lungs.” Wait, what, like she farted?

“My blood runs through my veins at the same rate as her fluids.”

“I rev her up. She revs up my heart.”

“My muscles share the work with her suspensions.” What, what?

“Her ride is lowered while the hair on my arms rises.”

“I am her. She is me. We are one.” Oh, no one’s ever said that line before.

Cue silly stock music beat.

And…”Yamaha R1. We are one”

We get the concept. There’s no problem there. But it’s like the creators took that concept and forced it down the throat like a bowling ball through the urethra. It’s just super painful to watch.